Fall 2010: Missing Russia

In case anyone is still checking in on my blog, I’m keeping you on your toes…I haven’t written since June. Now, though, as I sit by the heater in my new apartment in Seattle and look out at the rain and colorful trees, I ‘m motivated to write.

I miss everything about Russia. I miss Carolyn and Sarah the most, but also each of my adorable little students that ceaselessly write to me, asking if I’m coming back to Moscow, asking me how I am and what I’m doing. What AM I doing? I know that it’s good for me to be here, I know that it is better for a future career to make connections in the city I want to live in. I know it’s good that I’m back in relationships with my dear friends from college. But, it doesn’t always feel right, as life often tricks us into thinking we’re not happy, we’re not in the right place.

Sometimes what feels right is the feeling of tromping through the snow in my boots with the fur twenty minutes to get to the Metro. Sometimes, it’s realizing that I’ve succeeded in getting my point across in Russian, a language I cannot grasp. Sometimes, it’s when my fifteen year old students complement my smile or tell me I’m cool, and that they can’t live without me. Sometimes, it’s getting drunk and singing loudly with other Americans in public. Sometimes, it’s the feeling of being completely out of place, 24/7.

Those are some of the things I miss about last fall. Who knows if I’ll ever get to experience that again, but meanwhile I will make sure I never forget the feelings and experiences of my magical year in Russia.

Goodbye, Nineties!

This is a poster that has been hanging in my bedroom for years. Today, as I unpacked my suitcases and went through all my stuff, I decided to get rid of some of my old shoes...

Ode to the Dixie Chicks

I have thought about writing this post for quite some time. Today, while on the Metro with nothing to do, I dug out a pen and a tissue from my purse and wrote down how my favorite band makes me feel.

First, I’d like to say that I don’t even enjoy country music—not anymore. At one time in my life it was exciting and great, but now it’s simply too much. However, the Dixie Chicks has surpassed all of that, and over the past five years they have become many things to me.

1. For almost every one of my very best friends, there is a D.C. song I correlate with. For Aimee, there is “Cold Day in July.” For Jo, there is “I Hope” and “Travelling Soldier.” For Micaella, “I hope.” For Beth, “Travelling Soldier.” For Jen, “Taking the Long Way.” For Stephanie, “Lullaby.” Any time I hear one of these songs, I immediately picture myself back with these people, and my heart feels more full.
2. My personal favorite Dixie Chicks song is Landslide. This is mostly due to one of my favorite moments of life. During my Freshman year, on the infamous, annual Quest trip to San Francisco, we were on the third leg of the trip. Aimee was driving Traz (Alcatraz), our newly-dubbed Volvo. Kelsey Roche was the bubbly, singing shotgun, and Jo and I (and someone else I can’t remember) were asleep in the back seat. We had just passed over the California border, and my sister had the Dixie Chicks CD in. It was 5:00 a.m. The sun was rising, and we were going up, over, and around breath-taking, green mountains. In that moment, Landslide came on, and I felt a huge surge of happiness. I tried many times to wake Jo up to show her the beautiful world (and her first glimpse of California), but she was too comfortable and happy sleeping on my shoulder. That is something I both hold against her (that she wouldn’t wake up for her first sight of California, or enjoy my life’s greatest moment with me), and love her more dearly for (that she knew what she wanted, and nothing could take it away from her—after all, she’s quite a strong woman!).
3. The Dixie Chicks has changed me in some ways. In a ministry class in university, we had an assignment to write down the top three things which have affected our views of the world. Many people wrote down more traditional answers, such as The Passion of the Christ film or The Trinity painting, or even Les Miserables. But for me, it was the Dixie Chicks. I feel deeper and more truly me because of some of these songs—either they have shaped who I have become, or they sing to my soul and help me embrace my true nature.
4. Finally, I believe the Dixie Chicks just keeps getting better. It’s certainly true that I grow to love them and their music more all the time—I can listen to it in any mood, anywhere, and feel instantly better. No road trip is complete without the D.C. greatest hits in the stereo. Dozens of moments of my life were made better due to the Dixie Chicks, especially combined with friends, my Volvo, and the sunroof. And, due to writing this post, I have discovered a new album—from two of the three members of the band (the third wasn’t ready to record the album, so it’s temporarily just the sisters) called Court Yard Hounds.

That’s all. Congratulations if you read the whole thing—I’ll give you a pat on the back when I see you!

T-MINUS TWO WEEKS!

Okay, finally I have pictures for your viewing pleasure. Here are a few things I've done so far in May:

• Walked through the city at night with Carolyn, happening upon a photo exhibit, which included at picture of the beautiful city I will be landing in in just FOURTEEN DAYS!

• Went to the Moscow zoo with these beautiful people--my former student twins, Mary and Jane, plus Mary's boyfriend Grisha.

• Spent 16 hours in Moscow's center for Victory Day--saw a parade, met new and old friends, got caught in a flash storm, and watched a fireworks show while chanting "Roc-ci-ya!"

• Went to Moscow's oldest circus--Nikulin--and fell in love with a sea-lion master (not-pictured).

• Met Sarah for a lovely evening, walking along the Moscow river and eating Georgian food on a BOAT restaurant. Unforgettable.

THREE WEEKS LEFT

Hello, dear world. I have tried to write at least three new posts, and failed--mostly because I wanted to include a bunch of recent pictures, but my internet doesn't want to cooperate...maybe next time we'll try the pictures again!

It is a perfectly GORGEOUS eighty-degree day here in Moscow--I've been going on long walks everyday and enjoying the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings of nearly-summer...I'm happy, because the world is beautiful, there are exciting things happening here, and I am starting to feel that creepy-crawly anticipation of the flight home!

Tomorrow is Victory Day, which is a really big deal here, understandably so. In the morning, we're going to a huge parade near Red Square, where I'll see lots of tanks, planes, soldiers, and celebration. At night, there'll be a big firework show! It should be a pretty interesting day. On Monday, we're going to the old Moscow circus! I'm trying to fully enjoy the last few weeks, as you can see!

More to come...

Today is Heather-Day

Why? Because I have a sinus infection, and it’s my easy-work day. And, any excuse is fine with me to relax a little. So this is what I’ve done with it so far

1. Made leftover-oatmeal pancakes with blueberry yogurt, cinnamon, and brown sugar topping

2. Looked at every single tagged photo of myself on facebook, while listening to all the Beach Boys I own

3. Showered, and didn’t put on make-up

4. Got dressed to go outside

5. Put a load of laundry in

6. Crossed the street to check out the beauty salon, asked to see their tanning bed, and proceeded to have a 5-minute stand-up tan, which was FABULOUS

7. Went next door to the Apteka (drug-store) and bought Amoxicillin to get rid of my sickness

8. Crossed the street again and went to the post office. Purchased stamps and sent two letters to America

9. Went next door to our ooniversam (grocery store), and bought whatever I was craving at the moment: apples, tortilla chips, gummy bears, and my latest-obsession: cabbage salad (similar to sauerkraut but BETTER)

10. Went back home

11. Put another load of laundry in

12. Ate all my cravings

13. Washed dishes

14. Watched my other accidental new obsession: Sex and the City

15. Laid in bed

16. Typed a new post for my blog

17. Last step: go to work

My Recent Cultural Outings

Yes, it has been many weeks since I have typed my thoughts on life. But, I have a really good excuse for that which I may share someday if I feel like it. For now, however, I would like to tell and SHOW you what I've been doing the last two days!!

Yesterday, as I had the morning free because a student is out of town, I decided to go visit our favorite Soviet leader, Vladimir Lenin!! His body has been preserved for almost 100 years, which is so strange and creepy that I couldn't resist seeing it for myself! Plus, it's free...

I was going to post a picture of the experience, but it's too weird for my blog...if you're interested, follow this link to see what I saw (or just google image lenin mausoleum if it doesn't work):

http://www.google.ru/images?hl=ru&newwindow=1&q=lenin+mausoleum&lr=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=_MPIS4mZMcqOOP3BkaoN&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBIQsAQwAA

The whole thing was just so ridiculous to me that I couldn't help feeling amused. I smirked, then caught the eye of one of the guards, who gave me a death stare. Needless to say, I quickly made my way out of the mausoleum!

On a lighter note, today I went to the Manezh Hall...

...to see a photography exhibition! I went because Henri Cartier-Bresson is featured this month! I have loved this man since I was 15 and did research on him for my photography class. Here are some of his pictures, many of which I saw in real life today!

Anyways, I'm off to bed so I can wake up for my morning Saturday classes--uggh. The rest of the weekend may hold souvenir shopping, Moscow's free Museum day, and some friends. Look at me, enjoying my last weeks in Russia... :)

Things I'm Learning about Myself:

1. I'm a clean-freak.

I have always been a thorough cleaner--just ask Momma Sibet which child she would rather have do the dusting or clean the kitchen...

But only in Russia, having my own room and sharing a small flat with two other girls, I have realized I am slightly obsessive about things being clean. I try to go more than a week without vacuuming the floor, and rarely succeed. My room is almost always tidy, and my clothes are USUALLY put away! I wash my bedding nearly every-other week. I feel uncomfortable if the kitchen table is dirty...Oi.

I suppose the change came with having my own space, and a little more time on my hands. Aimee and Jo (my previous long-term-room-sharers): you have helped me reach 23 years old without realizing I am a CLEAN person! Thank you, I surely enjoyed my childhood more thoroughly with your help.

2. I love being alone.

This change is something I hoped and expected would come out of this Russian experience. But, it took 6 months for me to really feel HAPPY being alone. I take every opportunity to escape my flat and wander off by myself, on walks around Mitino, or to the center of Moscow to do sight-seeing, shopping, or coffee-drinking. I smile to myself now, often. As my wise mother said, "you are your own best friend." After living 22 years constantly being surrounded by people, literally having no more than two hours to myself EVER, this is a welcomed change. Now, hopefully I can learn how to incorporate this new aspect of my life into my relationships (without being anti-social) when I return to the States...

3. I love teenagers.

Love 'em. I guess I wasn't around them enough before, but now my teenage students are what drive me forward in this place, making me see that there is something worthwhile here, a reason to go to work, and potentially an area of work or volunteer I could pursue in the future!

4. I'm bad at learning languages.

It is just not a skill I possess, or have the patience to acquire. This took me a few months to realize, but now I have accepted the fact that I will NEVER be good at Russian. As I told Jen the other day, my Russian skills are maybe a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. Oops...

5. I HATE drama.

My life before this point seemed so NORMAL and care-free, compared to all the crap I have experienced/seen experienced around me here. I wonder if it's simply boredom, or an eclectic mix of foreigners who CHOOSE to live in Russia, but it seems everything is a big deal around here, and the rumors/gossip fly quickly and efficiently. I tried to stay out of it at first, but now I'm learning to simply let it slide. Maybe I've developed a thicker shell--I do think I care less about what people think of me now than ever before!

Things that make me happy:

Kinder Pingui Kokos

Getting Packages

Starlite

Coffee, always—as long as it’s not instant

My peace flags

Sewing St. Basil’s

Coffee Bean

Baked things

Not working

Shokoladnitsa

Pekarti

My bed

Watching my best friends perform on Glee, the Office, and Grey’s Anatomy

Skype chats

Un-pictured:

• Smiling waitresses
• My Bible study
• Red things
• Le Pain Quotidien
• When students say priceless things
• Natasha

Winter in Russia: My Song to You...

If you ever wondered what it would be like to live close to Siberia for an entire winter, please copy and paste the following and watch this song:

http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player/-/pgpv/videoplayer/0/b9ba8a9b-1550-11dd-8ea8-a3d2ac25b65b

The BEGINNING of March

SO, post-travels and accomplishments and joy, I seem to have fallen into a "funk" of sorts--the best word for it is moshy, which is an Aimee Sibet-patented word. It is that feeling that things aren't quite right--maybe life is going on as normal and great things are happening, but something inside of you stops you from fully enjoying it. You feel lethargic, reflective, anti-social, and all-around not yourself.

To combat such feelings, I have compiled goals for the month of March, which will give me something to focus on and that feeling of having a purpose in life...

March goals:

• Week 1 - do student report cards ; figure out pacing schedule for completing textbooks
• Week 2 - wire money home so I can pay my student loans ; mail a package to a friend
• Week 3 - come to a finalized decision about what happens to me in June
• Week 4 - buy a plane ticket home for (hopefully) June

In addition:

• Visit the Tretyakov art gallery
• Go say "hey" to our friend Lenin's preserved body in Red Square

FRIENDS. I need some help--my resolution for February was to walk on a frozen river, which i ACCOMPLISHED. What shall my resolution for March be???

February: Russia’s best month yet…

Here are the highlights from this grand month:

• Successfully mailing an international package by myself, after trying and failing at three different post offices! The man in line with me was amazing—he told me everything I would need on my forms, and helped me through the whole process (although I did the transaction entirely by myself…)
• Buying a train ticket to St. Petersburg, also by myself, which was more difficult than it sounds! It took me three tries here too…I went to the first cash desk, at which a woman yelled at me and told me she didn’t understand me. Okay, try again. The second one had a long line, then when I finally got to the front, the desk closed for lunch. Ugggh. I stopped and wondered, “can I do this?”, then I bucked up and told myself, “you have lived in this country for 6 months—you better be able to buy a train ticket!” So, I DID! I found another desk, got to the front, and told the woman exactly what I wanted. She was perfectly patient and nice to me, wrote down the dates, times, and prices to make sure it was what I wanted, and I walked away, smiling and holding my own train tickets for a personal vacation!!
• Traveling to St. Pete’s, by my lonesome—except I wasn’t lonesome! This was one of the best experiences of my life, and I had many firsts. I stayed with my old acquaintance/new friend Elizabeth, where I felt perfectly welcomed and at-home. Her two roommates were also wonderful, and I felt like I lived there—even though I was on a fabulous retreat. I made two wonderful new Russian friends through these American girls, went to the Russian art museum by myself, and walked on the frozen Neva river!! But best of all…
• I SAW MY ORPHAN CHILDREN!!! It was one of the most fulfilling days in my life, I was constantly struck by how good God is, and how lucky I am to have such opportunities! I had dreamt of this day for 2 ½ years, and it came and went in a whirlwind, with me being unsure of what to say or think. My heart is full and my life feels in a state of contentment, no matter what else happens around me.

So. It has been a month of learning about myself and how to be alone. I have learned how to rely on God, who is constant and good in the midst of loneliness and the unknown. It was a month of struggling through my Russian to accomplish practicalities and getting to know people, new and old. It was a month which gave me a renewed spirit of hope and a boosted confidence in what I can accomplish, through faith and independence. I can only hope March will find a way to compare!

Heather's New Years Resolutions TWENTY-TEN

1. See East Coast cities, including Chicago, DC, Baltimore, Cape Cod, and Boston.

2. Not defer student loans, i.e. pay student loan payments EVERY MONTH.

3. Find an orphanage in Moscow and volunteer there.

4. Visit kids in St. Pete's.

5. Speak more Russian. Hang out with Natasha ALL THE TIME.

6. Learn 40 new Russian words per week.

7. Spend more time on (especially) exam class students.

8. Before arrival back to USA, see ONE country outside of Russia.

9. Go to international church twice per month.

10. Go to zoo, circus, and museums -- 1 per month.

February of Fun??

A month and a half has passed by. To make it up to you, the blog-reading world, I will happily post a few pictures of the frozen world around me.

Here is the half-frozen river and the Church of Christ our Savior...oh-so-beautiful.
The trees in our precious park, complete with a wintery sunset.
The fabulous ladies of my life and flat--Carolyn and Jenny!
I like bridges...and they're even more fun with snow instead of water!

So, here we are in the month of February! Here are my current reflections about this month of love:

• Jenny's birthday is coming up, and we will surely have some good times of celebration, food, and dancing!
• Valentine's Day will bring games, crafts, and exciting new vocab for my little студенты...so there. The holiday will finally be worth something (although, nothing can beat Valentine's Day '09--right Micaella?? ;)
• I'm trying to get a day of work and go to St. Petersburg from the 19-23rd...I could stay with the fabulous Elizabeth Miles and visit my darlings at the good ol' orphanage. I'm simply PRAYING that it can work out!
• New Month Resolution: walk on a frozen river.