In case anyone is still checking in on my blog, I’m keeping you on your toes…I haven’t written since June. Now, though, as I sit by the heater in my new apartment in Seattle and look out at the rain and colorful trees, I ‘m motivated to write.
I miss everything about Russia. I miss Carolyn and Sarah the most, but also each of my adorable little students that ceaselessly write to me, asking if I’m coming back to Moscow, asking me how I am and what I’m doing. What AM I doing? I know that it’s good for me to be here, I know that it is better for a future career to make connections in the city I want to live in. I know it’s good that I’m back in relationships with my dear friends from college. But, it doesn’t always feel right, as life often tricks us into thinking we’re not happy, we’re not in the right place.
Sometimes what feels right is the feeling of tromping through the snow in my boots with the fur twenty minutes to get to the Metro. Sometimes, it’s realizing that I’ve succeeded in getting my point across in Russian, a language I cannot grasp. Sometimes, it’s when my fifteen year old students complement my smile or tell me I’m cool, and that they can’t live without me. Sometimes, it’s getting drunk and singing loudly with other Americans in public. Sometimes, it’s the feeling of being completely out of place, 24/7.
Those are some of the things I miss about last fall. Who knows if I’ll ever get to experience that again, but meanwhile I will make sure I never forget the feelings and experiences of my magical year in Russia.
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